5 surprising ways not to hate the Internet (Native Ad Sample)

5 surprising ways not to hate the Internet

Joe Stay

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This is the digital age. With 1.59 billion Facebook users, over 300,000 hours of YouTube videos filed away, and not to mention [enter additional social media statistics here], the Internet truly has our hearts. It has our attention. It owns our souls. And just like every such relationship, there arises some inevitable and obvious tension.

It’s a love/hate relationship. The Internet is so incredibly useful, but when our time is misappropriated with it, it can be a real vampire. (Twilight reference not intended, but apparently also not edited out.) If you begin to feel drained (they just keep on coming) please know you are not alone. But you don’t have to hate the Internet. Here are five reasons why:

Watch this video about how extensive the Internet was in 1993. Ah, the 90’s. A simpler, arguably happier time (at least economically speaking.) However, clearly, information was not nearly as accessible as it is today. There was a thing called a library catalog, and something else called a checkout limit, and I’m pretty sure a weird, cute little thing called college ruled paper. A peculiar time, indeed. If you ever need a reminder on just how blessed we are in this day and age, remember that you were either being born or watching Mighty Morphin Power Rangers at a time that only fifty websites were in existence.

Use Parental Controls. A little bit of unexpected advice, right? Why should I have a series of 0s and 1s dictate what media I should and shouldn’t intake? More on a useful little thing called smartAlec later…as far as this is concerned, this isn’t a plug for censorship for its own sake. Tim Watley, anthropologist at Bob Hoskins University, led a study that indicates that people generally feel better about themselves when they are not barraged with pop-up ads, and are 20% more positive in their daily interactions when they go one hour online without seeing a scantily clad man or woman. I believe firmly in freedom of information. But I also want to be in a good mood all the time, and this seems to be a helpful way.

Use the smartAlec program/app. Something is happening all over America: people are getting fed up. YouTube comment sections are ignored. Chat rooms are emptying. Political apathy is spreading among young adults. Why is this? In the words of Jim Morrison, “People are strange.” And stupid. And those of us who aren’t, at least as vocally, don’t want to go online only to stumble into some dumb debate, or trolls, or any bickering of any sort. This nifty new program/app filters out everything that annoys you personally through some complicated algorithms that make someone somewhere sound like a huge nerd. The rest of us benefit greatly by running into less of these types, and makes our Internet experience all that less stressful.

  

Take a break from looking at a screen every half hour. Could it be that our frustration stems in part from something physiological? Oh, it's a thing. Looking constantly at our screens reduces blinking by 50%, which in turn dries out our eyes, which causes a buildup of mucus in our sinuses, which, you guessed it, causes headaches. Curse that alluring glow and bright colors! If you take a break now and again, perhaps every half hour or so, for a couple of minutes of looking at something organic, like a newspaper, clock, dust, whatever it is that people look at that's not on a screen, your headaches will reduce, and you will love being on the Internet more.

Be grateful. So this one is basically all-encompassing. Be grateful that we have such an amazing invention at our fingertips. You can thank Al Gore, I mean, a whole team of experienced innovators, for that. We also have great options like parental controls and smartAlec to keep you from stressing out over all the sludge that gets cycled through your browser. And as a personal affidavit, I would submit that observing life around you will make you appreciate virtual life a little more.

We ain't got time to hate. The Internet is an incredibly useful tool, mode of communication, and source of entertainment. What's not to love? Follow these steps, and it will have your heart again.